Art Buchwald Quotes

Enjoy the top 67 famous quotes, sayings and quotations by Art Buchwald.

Art Buchwald Quotes

I have no idea where Im going but heres the real question: What am I doing here in the first place?
— Art Buchwald —

Whether it is the best of times or the worst of times, it is the only time we have.

— Art Buchwald

A bad liver is to a Frenchman what a nervous breakdown is to an American. Everyone has had one and everyone wants to talk about it.

— Art Buchwald

Every time you think television has hit its lowest ebb, a new program comes along to make you wonder where you thought the ebb was.

— Art Buchwald

The things that matter most are not things.

— Art Buchwald

I contemplated suicide. My main concern was that I would not make the New York Times obituary page.

— Art Buchwald

Just when you think there's nothing to write about, Nixon says, 'I am not a crook.' Jimmy Carter says, 'I have lusted after women in my heart.' President Reagan says, 'I have just taken a urinalysis test, and I am not on dope.

— Art Buchwald

This is not an easy time for humorists because the government is far funnier than we are.

— Art Buchwald

I just don't want to die the same day Castro dies

— Art Buchwald

On the whole I woke up in the morning and was happy to be alive.

— Art Buchwald

Put yourself in Hamlet's shoes. Suppose you were a prince, and you came back from college to discover that your uncle had murdered your father and married your mother, and you fell in love with a beautiful girl and mistakenly murdered her father, and then she went crazy and drowned herself. What would you do? Go back for a masters?

— Art Buchwald

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