Arj Barker Quotes

Enjoy the top 39 famous quotes, sayings and quotations by Arj Barker.

Arj Barker Quotes

I was high on life but eventually I built up a tolerance.
— Arj Barker —

I was high on life but eventually I built up a tolerance.

— Arj Barker

I deserve someone who likes me for who I am pretending to be.

— Arj Barker

You can get tested now for early onset Alzheimer's. Hold on a second, could someone hire a marching band, cause I'm so happy I feel like having a parade. You mean I can find out early if I'm going to die of a super horrible disease that there's no cure for? Well, whoopee!

— Arj Barker

I could've enjoyed a cigarette if I smoked back before everyone knew it was bad - say, like, 1923. Everybody smoked back then. There was no medical information against it; they had no idea - it was a paradise. It was a smoker's paradise: 'They're taking my lung out next week. I don't know why. Doctor thinks maybe I'm brushing my teeth too often, but I can't help it because, for some reason, my breath smells like I licked a monkey's ass.

— Arj Barker

I'm trying to feel terrified and alone. And regret every decision I've ever made, drenched in a cold sweat. It's called going to sleep. Maybe you've heard of it.

— Arj Barker

My general rule of thumb is, once something's a ride at Disneyland, I assume that it is no longer a threat in real life. Which is why I don't expect to get attacked by a giant tea cup anytime soon.

— Arj Barker

Home is wherever I am. People make too big a deal about where you live. I try to be grounded in myself. Home is another way of saying 'a place where you keep all your stuff'.

— Arj Barker

I hate all generalisations.

— Arj Barker

All I knew about Ireland before I went there was what I learned from watching soap commercials all my life. I was totally misinformed. I thought it was an Irish tradition where you don't even take a shower with your soap - you take your soap for a walk, you compliment the soap for a little while and then, suddenly, you just start hacking it up with a hunting knife.

— Arj Barker

You know the little camel on the pack of cigarettes? They just found out that's not even a camel. It's actually a horse with a big, old tumor growing out of its mouth.

— Arj Barker

A woman is a highly developed, deeply intelligent, infinitely complicated being. And it needs to be carefully tricked into doing things.

— Arj Barker

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