Alan King Quotes

Enjoy the top 60 famous quotes, sayings and quotations by Alan King.

Alan King Quotes

I think one of the big things about comedy is the ability for the audience to identify.
— Alan King —

I learned to cook in self-defense. My wife doesn't know what a kitchen is. In the first month of our marriage, she broiled lamb chops 26 nights in a row. Then I took over. I used to mind her not caring about food, but no more - as long as I can eat what I want.

— Alan King

I can't stay friends with anyone who doesn't have a passion for something; and, generally speaking, artistic people, creative people carry it right into the kitchen, too. They have a zest for life; the excitement of living. All of the great eaters I've known are also men of great wit.

— Alan King

Banks have a new image. Now you have 'a friend,' your friendly banker. If the banks are so friendly, how come they chain down the pens?

— Alan King

And humor has always been a weapon. You want to get even on somebody? You want to attack somebody? Make fun of them.

— Alan King

Right when I started in show ... Milton Berle was my first idol. When I was a kid, I went to see Milton at Lowe's State, and I never laughed so much, and I said, 'That's who I want to be; that's what I want to be.'

— Alan King

Did you hear the one about the elderly Jew on his deathbed who sent for a priest, after declaring to his astonished relatives that 'I want to convert.' Asked why he would become a Catholic, after living all his life as a Jew, he answered: 'Better one of them should die than one of us.'

— Alan King

We get the worrywart, the hypochondriac, the money-grubbing miser, the intractable negotiator ... Some would say certain of these refer to the stereotypical, or 'stage' Jew. But objectively speaking, the only crime in humor is an unfunny joke.

— Alan King

There's a charm, there's a rhythm, there's a soul to Jewish humor. When I first saw Richard Pryor perform, I told him, 'You're doing a Jewish act.'

— Alan King

As you get older, as you become more sensitive, feel more, it becomes harder to make jokes. You censor yourself.

— Alan King

When I get up in the morning, I have to decide what I'm going to have for dinner or I can't get through the day.

— Alan King

Comedy is an amazing calling. Once you get that first laugh, it's hard to turn away. Then, of course, you're hooked and you have to learn how to survive in the business.

— Alan King

I had a sympathetic role in 'thirtysomething,' and in two weeks I'm going to do the role again. But in the movies, I just love the heavies. It's much more fun. Villains are a ball. People have been laughing at me for 50 years, so I love to sit in the back of the theater and listen to them hate me.

— Alan King

Milton took vaudeville, which, if you look up 'vaudeville' in the dictionary, right alongside of it, it says 'Milton Berle' - and he made it just a tremendous party.

— Alan King

If you stop and think about it, nearly all great humor is at the expense of someone or something.

— Alan King

My son says I never tell stories about anyone who's living.

— Alan King

When I was a kid, I used to send away for those ventriloquist kits on the back of comic books.

— Alan King

Ed Sullivan brought me to TV first in 1952, then Garry Moore's program gave me a lot of confidence and freedom.

— Alan King

The other day my house caught fire. My lawyer said, "Shouldn't be a problem. What kind of coverage do you have?" I said, "Fire and theft." The lawyer frowned. "Uh oh. Wrong kind. Should be fire OR theft."

— Alan King

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