A.P. Herbert Quotes
Enjoy the top 30 famous quotes, sayings and quotations by A.P. Herbert.

“People must not do things for fun. We are not here for fun. There is no reference to fun in any Act of Parliament.”
— A.P. Herbert —
The conception of two people living together for twenty-five years without having a cross word suggests a lack of spirit only to be admired in sheep
— A.P. Herbert
— A.P. Herbert
— A.P. Herbert
“The critical period of matrimony is breakfast-time.”
— A.P. Herbert
— A.P. Herbert
The portions of a woman which appeal to man's depravity Are constructed with considerable care.
— A.P. Herbert
Justice should be cheap but judges expensive.
— A.P. Herbert
“Well, fancy giving money to the Government! Might as well have put it down the drain.”
— A.P. Herbert
As my poor father used to say In 1963, Once people start on all this Art Goodbye, moralitee! And what my father used to say Is good enough for me.
— A.P. Herbert
“An act of God was defined as something which no reasonable man could have expected.”
— A.P. Herbert
My ball is in a bunch of fern, A jolly place to be; An angry man is close astern- He waves his club at me. Well, let him wave-the sky is blue; Go on, old ball, we are but two-We may be down in three, Or nine-or ten-or twenty-five-It matters not; to be alive, Is good enough for me.
— A.P. Herbert
Aven, I have given up smoking again! ... God! I feel fit. Homicidal, but fit. A different man. Irritable, moody, depressed, rude, nervy, perhaps; but the lungs are fine.
— A.P. Herbert
The rain is plentious but, by God's decree,
Only a third is meant for you and me;
Two-thirds are taken by the growing things
Or vanish Heavenward on vapour's wings:
Nor does it mathematically fall
With social equity on one and all.
The population's habit is to grow
In every region where the water's low:
Nature is blamed for failings that are Man's,
And well-run rivers have to change their plans.
— A.P. Herbert
— A.P. Herbert
A dull speaker, like a plain woman, is credited with all the virtues, for we charitably suppose that a surface so unattractive must be compensated by interior blessings.
— A.P. Herbert
“The essence of humour is surprise; that is why you laugh when you see a joke in Punch.”
— A.P. Herbert
Greenfly, it's difficult to see Why God, who made the rose, made thee.
— A.P. Herbert
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